Church Time Peace: Proven Strategies for Helping Children 'Stay Seated'
Church Time Peace: Proven Strategies for Helping Children 'Stay Seated'
When you get to Church on Sunday, do your children sit still the whole time?
If they don't, do they try pulling any of these things off:
“I’m bored!”
“How much longer?”
“I need to go potty... again.”
“I’m hungry.”
“Why do we have to be here?”
“Can I play on your phone?”
“She’s touching me!”
“This is so boring.”
“I forgot my toy/crayons/book.”
(Whispering nonstop questions...stage whisperers)
(Fidgeting loudly or kicking the seat)
(Crying or whining for attention)
“Can we leave now?”
“I don’t like this song/person/pastor.”
(Sudden urgent request for a snack or drink)
(Sprinting to different parts of the church)
(Playing with church books like they're blocks)
(Dropping those kneelers where it echoes throughout the whole church to get those reactions)
Do any of these resonate with you? 🙋♀️🙋♂️
Do you try to tell yourself any of these things as coping strategies?
“They’re just too young to sit still.”
“It’s normal for kids to be disruptive; nothing can be done.”
“They’ll grow out of it eventually.”
“Church is too boring for children to understand.”
“If I bring snacks and toys, that’s enough.”
“Other parents’ kids must just be easier.”
“Correcting behaviour in church is too harsh or distracting.”
“God doesn’t expect children to participate.”
“It’s not worth the fight every week.”
“The church should be entertaining to hold their attention.”
“I’ll focus on training them when they’re older.”
“If they’re quiet with a device, it’s fine.”
“As long as we show up, how they behave doesn’t matter.”
If you have, you're not alone. There is a better way for your family to pray reverently and piously. Give God His due reverence, and let Him rejoice in you being great guests in His house! 😇
What if I told you that it's possible to Mass train your child as early as
6 months?
Would you believe me?
We are here to tell you it is possible, and you CAN do it.
We have created a shortened list of some of our tips in our books' "Prayer Formalities" chapters. These snippets can help instill a reverent faith life in your child.
Remember, a relationship with God is not forced. The tips below will help your child develop a more organic, self-led pious life.
Here are some of our suggestions to guide you along in the process!
Top 5 Tips & Tricks
Swipe to the right or click the right arrow to read more about our tips and tricks.
1) 15 Minute Devotions
Having a 15-minute family prayer time daily exposes your children to the idea that sitting for a long time in prayer is good. Consistent practice trains the flesh to believe that piety and reverence are essential. If you only take the one hour a week every Sunday, it doesn't become a habit for them to pray well. You need consistent prayers and long ones to iron out all the wiggles, jumps, and sprints at home.
Types of devotions include...
Rosary
Introducing children to the Rosary from an early age helps them develop reverence, stillness, and a love for prayer. You create gentle exposure by praying aloud while holding a Rosary, even while breastfeeding or nursing. Using tactile aids like silicone rosaries, silicone poppers, doing chores alongside the Scriptural rosary, and crocheted decade roses reinforces the idea that prayer is a special, quiet time. Over time, these consistent cues teach children to sit calmly and pray with intention at home and during Mass. By 2.5 years old, children can begin to sit in silence for short periods, forming a foundation for lifelong spiritual habits.
Auxilium Christianorum Prayers
This devotion is found in Fr. Chad Ripperger's book Deliverance Prayers for the Laity (which I believe EVERY family should own a copy of). If you chant the litany of the Precious Blood, your children can grow to love chant and will participate in the hymns during Church. If they don't want to chant, having them repeat the end of the litanies is a simple, easy way for children to pray a long prayer with engagement.
The prayers have an app which can be downloaded from the Google Play Store or Apple Store. This makes it easy to pray anywhere and everywhere.
2) Daily Silent Hour
Children should carve out one hour of quiet time every day, during which they must sit still and do an activity for a whole hour straight.
You can play audio versions of the rosary or other faith books during this time to teach them to listen to something about the faith while they are quiet.
As they get daily practice of being seated in a spot for 1 hour, they develop self-control to learn how to maintain a calm and peaceful state. Once you do this daily, you (parents) can sit still during Church for an hour in a restful state.
If they start making noise and aren't sitting still for an activity, like drawing or reading, don't use your words. Quietly shake your head to symbolize "no," redirect their attention to the silent activities available, and sign "sh."
By practicing these quiet forms of correction, you don't have to worry about making quiet corrections that they will understand in Church.
Make it Fun!
Make it fun and call it their "Carthusian hour," "Monk hour," or "Carmelite hour." Get your children to wear housecoats to symbolize a habit, and the girls could add a veil or a towel on their heads to symbolize the apostolnik.
Teach them St. Benedict's rule for "Ora et labora," which means "work and pray." When quiet time starts, have an alarm that sounds like a Church bell, and when it is up, have a joyful bell-ringing alarm to symbolize joyful noise!
Have a Mass set they could play with during this time to familiarize them with the things in the Mass.
The more you introduce this to them while they are young, the easier it will be to increase attentiveness in Mass AND religious vocations. 😇
3) Play Chant in the Home
Replacing all music in the home with chant will heighten children's senses for prayer. This simple act will immediately transform your children into people who are more at peace and can sit through Mass.
Other genres (outside of classical music) weaken the spiritual senses, making it harder for them to appreciate the beauty of music and the Mass. Fr. Chad Ripperger explains this in his podcast, which you can listen to here.
Scientific studies have been conducted on this. If you're interested in learning more, email us!
Our Favourites!
Our household favourite is the "Benedictine of Mary Queen of Apostles" music selection! It comes with music for every liturgical season, making it easier for children to recognize hymns in Church that they can sing along to while playing at home and in the vehicle.
4) Read Readings & Practice Music Prior
Leading a Lectio Divina prior to Mass with the readings makes it easier for children to know what to listen for. They will become more attuned to hearing different things they have heard earlier, and tune in better. You can do it the night before and make it your bedtime story reading.
If you are unsure what a Lectio Divina is, here is a great article that explains what it is and how to pray it.
In addition to our third point, having them learn music they can hear in Church is beneficial for their engagement. They will be able to sing along with familiar songs that they heard first at home. You can teach them that music helps learn about the Mass.
Want a great resource? Click that arrow!
Practice Music
Teaching your children liturgical hymns at home, including everyday Church songs and Christmas and Easter hymns, is a great way to spark their involvement with their faith.
Playful Pitch has Montessori-style song cards with instruments so children can learn the songs independently!
Use coupon code: RWMC
5) Relate to Their Struggle
Let's face it, even adults can mentally struggle with being perfectly focused in Mass. Our minds wander, we become distant, we can doze off and fall asleep, we are distracted by how hungry we can get, etc. You know, all those temptations that turn away our attention from God; it's very human.
When your child is struggling to stay focused in Church, empathize with them and give them strategies on how to develop fortitude to focus on the Mass.
"Yes, it's hard for me to invest in all Masses, too, mentally. Sometimes my mind thinks about things that aren't about the Mass. It's human. Even Jesus was tempted in the desert to turn away from prayer. What Jesus teaches us in the desert is that we have to pray and keep turning to God. As hard as it is to focus, the more we redirect our attention, the more God smiles upon us from heaven. Let's persevere together in mental fortitude to be pious."
These are the top 5 ways you will start noticing transformations in your children's behaviour in Church. The more organic you make it, the faster the response within your home will be.
What stood out to you in this list? Do you have any other ideas?
We would love to hear from you.
Let's work on creating quiet, peaceful, pious, and reverent Churches together!
PS. Want to learn how to keep them engaged in Mass according to their attention span? Check out our blog to complement this advice.
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Built with © 2020 Systeme.io
Email us at: info@raisingwellmanneredchildren.com
